This past weekend held some emotional stressors for Keegan and I. An unsuspecting trip to the Hospital for a pre-eclampsia scare was a bit of a wake up call, challenging our readiness for our little man entering into the world. Luckily, it was just a scare. However, Cholestasis of pregnancy is a reality for us and now we're hoping he can keep on growing inside of me for the next couple weeks until the moment where the Midwife recommends an inducement.
With the past eight months of pregnancy being so healthy and active I think I began to take the safety of the little life within me for granted. The fear of something happening to him with just a few short weeks to go is both frustrating and terrifying. I want my body to cooperate and function properly, and at the same time I don't care at all what transpires so long as the little one comes out healthy. For now I will just pay very close attention to the final moments I get to feel him moving around inside of me, the final moments where Keegan and I are just two together in this world, and prepare for the experience of labour.
Though the past few days held a fair level of panic and fear, they were also incredibly life affirming as well. The amount of support and love showered upon us by our families, both local and long distance, was remarkable. I feel humbled and very fortunate to be cared for so earnestly as we were this weekend. Thank you to you all. Life in itself is such a fascinating and exciting concept. While lying back strapped to the monitor, listening to our boy's heart beating away just beneath my surface, we couldn't help but notice how incredibly similar the sound was to that of the Saccharomyces Cerevisiae Yeast eating and reproducing and bubbling away with our home-brewing projects. Two seemingly completely different forms of life, yet so similar in numerous ways. Listening recently to Bill Nye discuss the excitement behind the discovery of life and how decay and energy begets new life could make anyone giddy. Watching the crocus blossoms jetting up and out of the frosty ground. Conversing with Keegan about the joy and responsibility of stewarding another human being through the immense developmental experiences of the first year of life. Countless curiosities and overwhelmingly beautiful things. How lucky we all are the be able to experience life. To be a part of how the universe understands itself. Maybe it took that bit of fear and panic over the weekend to stimulate my appreciation and awe with the world now. The world balancing itself out. Whatever the case, I look forward to the unknown journey ahead.
